“All through it, I have known myself to be quite undeserving. And yet I have had the weakness, and have still the weakness, to wish you to know with what a sudden mastery you kindled me, heap of ashes that I am, into fire- a fire, however, inseparable in its nature from myself, quickening nothing, lighting nothing, doing no service, idly burning away.”

“‎And yet I have had the weakness, and have still the weakness, to wish you to know with what a sudden mastery you kindled me, heap of ashes that I am, into fire.”

“You kindled me, heap of ashes that I am, into fire. He had wondered once why love was always phrased in terms of burning. The conflagration in his own veins, now, gave the answer.”

“Nothing but this: I did not do it. Yet now I wish I had... I wish I had enough poison for you all. You make me sorry that I am not the monster you would have me be, yet there it is.”

“She leaned forward and caught at his hand, pressing it between her own. The touch was like white fire through his veins. He could not feel her skin only the cloth of her gloves, and yet it did not matter. You kindled me, heap of ashes that I am, into fire. He had wondered once why love was always phrased in terms of burning. The conflagration in his own veins, now, gave the answer.”

“What do I need to do to get you to trust me?   What do you want from me?”   He yells. I steel myself and look up into his panicked eyes and fight the pull I feel at coming in contact with those sapphires again.   “Nothing! I don’t want anything from you!”   I shout out the biggest lie I have ever told in my entire life.   Connor’s eyes widen at my words and his face falls, every ounce of fire gone from his gaze.   He backs away then smiles weakly at me.“Well, Merry Fucking Christmas Nina, because you have it all anyway.”