“You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. There's more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!”

“Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm a potato, I go well with gravy!”

“My mashed potatoes come with a masturbation sound you pour on top, like gravy. I got the recipe from Pee Wee Herman.”

“Think of it like the best mac and cheese you've ever had. No neon yellow Velveeta and bread crumbs. I'm talking gourmet cheddar, the expensive stuff from Vermont that crackles as it melts into the crust on top. Imagine if right before you were about to tear into it, the mac and cheese starts talking to you?”

“You know how you have a good meal and you got gravy left on the plate. The gravy was so good that you don’t want to leave it on the plate but you don’t want to be a pig about it? So you take your bread and use it to sop up the rest of the gravy. That guy is totally soppable!”

“Hold fast to whatever fragments of love that exist, for sometimes a mosaic is more beautiful than an unbroken pattern.”