“Never more then two, I told her once. I repeat an old joke about why martinis are like a women's breasts; one is never enough and three are too many”

“One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.”

“I joked about every prominent man in my lifetime, but I never met one I didn't like.”

“I never told a joke in my life.”

“Three old women were bending in the fields. What use is it to question us? they said. Well it shortly became clear that they knew everything there is to know about the snowy fields and the blue green shoots and the plant called "audacity", which poets mistake for violets. I began to copy out everything that was said. ... I will do anything to escape boredom. It is the task of a lifetime. You can never know enough, never work enough, never use the infinitives and participles oddly enough, never impede the movement harshly enough, never leave the mind quickly enough.”

“I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.After three I'm under the table,after four I'm under my host.”