“Cartooning is preaching. And I think we have a right to do some preaching. I hate shallow humor. I hate shallow religious humor, I hate shallow sports humor, I hate shallowness of any kind.”

“You know what I think my best quality is? I think I'm nice to have around. I'd hate it if I weren't around!”

“I've come to you because I need professional help... I get depressed when I realize how other girls hate me, and yet I know it's only jealousy... It's plain jealousy! They only hate me because I have naturally curly hair... They're jealous of me... What should I do?""Don't kid yourself, sister... Five cents, please!”

“Schroeder, do you think I'm beautiful?""I think you're the most beautiful girl the world has ever known...""You hate me, don't you?”

“I think this is irresponsible preaching and very dangerous, and especially when it is slanted toward children, I think it's totally irresponsible, because I see nothing biblical that points up to our being in the last days, and I just think it's an outrageous thing to do, and a lot of people are making a living—they've been making a living for 2,000 years—preaching that we're in the last days.”

“Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.”

“Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Is life a multiple choice test or is it a true or false test?" ...Then a voice comes to me out of the dark and says, "We hate to tell you this but life is a thousand word essay.”