“Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.”

“There's the house where that little red-haired girl lives... Maybe she'll see me, and come rushing out to thank me for the Christmas card I sent her... Maybe she'll even give me a hug... Maybe Billie Jean King will call me tonight, and invite me out to dinner.”

“You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just a shade more friendly...""How about 'Dear Fatty'?”

“I feel sorry for little babies... When a little baby is born into this cold world, he's confused! He's frightened! He needs something to cheer him up... The way I see it, as soon as a baby is born, he should be issued a banjo!”

“You try for a little happiness, and what do you get? A few memories and a fat stomach!”

“Just thinking about a friend makes you want to do a happy dance, because a friend is someone who loves you in spite of your faults.”

“I see no reason why church services have to be standard. I've discussed this with the man who used to be a pastor here at the Methodist Church in Sebastopol. I told him I saw no reason why, on a certain Sunday morning, if a minister has felt during the week the burden of a topic upon his heart and he knows that it is going to take more than the standard twenty minutes to discuss this thing, why he can't rise at the beginning of the service and say 'I have something of special importance this morning so let's sing just one song, and if you'll forgive me, I think I'm going to need about an hour to explain it to you.' I think the congregation would appreciate his candor and give him their attention. If, on the other hand, he does not feel that a definite message has been given him, why not admit it from the pulpit and say, 'This morning, I'm not going to try to make up something to fill the time. We'll sing a few extra hymns and go home!' Why do the services have to begin and end at the same time, and why does everything have to be so rigid?”