“I have observed that whenever you try to hit somebody, there is a tendency for them to try to hit you back.”

“Wouldn't you like just for once to see Charlie Brown hit that ball?""No... I'm not prepared to have the world come to an end!”

“That stupid Charlie Brown! He had the nerve to say I'm not perfect!""So I suppose you hit him, huh?""Rats! I knew I forgot something!”

“I gave up trying to understand people long ago. Now I let them try to understand me!”

“I've tried to be a better person... I've tried, and tried and tried! You know how hard I've tried! Tell me how I've tried...""Nice try... Five cents, please!”

“Valentine, just a few words to tell you how I love you. I have loved you since the first day I saw you. Whenever that was.”

“Though her husband often went on business trips, she hated to be left alone."I've solved your problem," he said. "I've bought you a St. Bernard. Its name is Great Reluctance. Now, when I go away, you shall know that I am leaving you with Great Reluctance!"She hit him with a waffle iron.”