“I've been thinking... Maybe you're a mockingbird... Mockingbirds imitate the songs of other birds... No, I've never heard of any copyright problems.”

“If it's just a matter of looking, I've looked! I've looked for happiness at home. I've looked all over this neighbourhood for happiness... Someday, I'll look all over this country for happiness... And, someday, I'll look all around the world for happiness, but I'll probably never find it... Then, after I've looked all over the world, I'll return home.""And when you return home, you'll find the very happiness that was there all along! Is that what you're trying to say?""No, but maybe I'll find that stupid little pink bracelet I lost yesterday!”

“Bob Dylan will be thirty years old this month...""That's the most depressing thing I've ever heard.”

“Maybe I can put it another way... Life, Charlie Brown, is like a deck chair.""Like a what?""Have you ever been on a cruise ship? Passengers open up these canvas deck chairs so they can sit in the sun... Some people place their chairs facing the rear of the ship so they can see where they've been... Other people face their chairs forward... They want to see where they're going! On the cruise ship of life, Charlie Brown, which way is your deck chair facing?""I've never been able to get one unfolded...”

“I've tried to be a better person... I've tried, and tried and tried! You know how hard I've tried! Tell me how I've tried...""Nice try... Five cents, please!”

“Though her husband often went on business trips, she hated to be left alone."I've solved your problem," he said. "I've bought you a St. Bernard. Its name is Great Reluctance. Now, when I go away, you shall know that I am leaving you with Great Reluctance!"She hit him with a waffle iron.”

“Life is just too much for me. I've been confused right from the day I was born... I think the whole trouble is that we're thrown into life too fast... We're not really prepared...""What did you want... A chance to warm up first?”