“I've come to you because I need professional help... I get depressed when I realize how other girls hate me, and yet I know it's only jealousy... It's plain jealousy! They only hate me because I have naturally curly hair... They're jealous of me... What should I do?""Don't kid yourself, sister... Five cents, please!”

“I have deep feelings of depression... What can I do about this?''Snap out of it! Five cents, please.”

“I want to be liked... No, I want to be more than just liked... I want people to say, "that Charlie Brown is a great guy!" And when people are at parties, I want them to look for me, and when I finally arrive, I want them to say, "here comes good ol' Charlie Brown... Now everything will be all right!" I want to be a special person... I want to be needed... It's kind of hard to explain... Do you understand? I mean, do you know what I'm talking about?""Sure, I understand perfectly...""Well?""Forget it! Five cents, please!”

“I've tried to be a better person... I've tried, and tried and tried! You know how hard I've tried! Tell me how I've tried...""Nice try... Five cents, please!”

“I have a question. What if your advice doesn't help me? Do I get my money back?""No, because as soon as you pay me, I run right out and spend it. That's one of the first things they teach you in medical school!”

“Schroeder, do you think I'm beautiful?""I think you're the most beautiful girl the world has ever known...""You hate me, don't you?”

“Rats! There goes the bell... oh, how I hate lunch hours! I always have to eat alone because nobody likes me... Peanut butter again... I wish that little red haired girl would come over, and sit with me. Wouldn’t it be great if she’d walk over here, and say, “May I eat lunch with you, Charlie Brown?” I’d give anything to talk with her... she’d never like me, though... I’m so blah and so stupid... she’d never like me... I wonder what would happen if I went over and tried to talk to her! Everyone would probably laugh... she’d probably be insulted someone as blah as I am tried to talk to her. I hate lunch hour... all it does is make me lonely... during class it doesn’t matter... I can’t even eat... Nothing tastes good... Rats! Nobody is ever going to like me... Lunch hour is the loneliest hour of the day!”