“My grandfather has been very depressed lately. He just doesn't know what to do. He says it's late in the game, and he's afraid that life has him beaten.""Tell him to take out the goalie.”

“Hello? Oh, nothing... Just sort of hanging around... My brother? He's right here... He's reading... He's always reading... He has no life of his own, and he's a very boring person so he reads a lot... What's he reading? I don't know... She wants to know what you're reading...""How to survive living in the same family with an annoying sister.""Ivanhoe.”

“Let's just say that life has me beaten... So I give up! I admit there's no way I can win...""What is it you want, Charlie Brown?""How about two out of three?”

“Today is my grandfather's birthday.""How old is he?""Sixty-three. It's hard to believe he was once a human being.”

“I never seem to know what's going on... Right from the very start, my life has been strange. I think I know what happened... I must have missed all the rehearsals.”

“I don't know the meaning of life. I don't know why we are here. I think life is full of anxieties and fears and tears. It has a lot of grief in it, and it can be very grim. And I do not want to be the one who tries to tell somebody else what life is all about. To me it's a complete mystery.”

“The early bird gets the worm but the late bird doesn't even get the late worm.”