“Never set your stomach for a jelly-bread sandwich until you're sure there's some jelly!”

“There's nothing like unrequited love to take all the flavor out of a peanut butter sandwich.”

“I think I know what's wrong with you... Walk up onto that pitcher's mound... Does your stomach hurt now?""Yes! Ow! Ooo! Yes!""All right, now come down off the mound... There... Has it stopped hurting?""Yes... Yes, I think it has!""There's your trouble... Five cents, please!”

“I had to go to the school nurse yesterday because my stomach hurt...""You worry too much, Charlie Brown... No wonder your stomach hurts... You've got to stop all this silly worrying!""How do I stop?""That's your worry! Five cents, please!”

“I guess babysitters are like used cars... You never really know what you're getting...”

“You try for a little happiness, and what do you get? A few memories and a fat stomach!”

“Sometimes, when you're really depressed, all you want to do is nothing. All you want to do is lean your head on your arm, and stare into space. Sometimes this can go on for hours. If you're unusually depressed, you may have to change arms.”