“Sometimes I ask myself questions... Sometimes I ask myself, is this your real life or is this just a pilot film? Is my life a thirty-nine week series or is it a special?""Whatever it is, your ratings are down... Five cents, please!”

“I had to go to the school nurse yesterday because my stomach hurt...""You worry too much, Charlie Brown... No wonder your stomach hurts... You've got to stop all this silly worrying!""How do I stop?""That's your worry! Five cents, please!”

“I think I know what's wrong with you... Walk up onto that pitcher's mound... Does your stomach hurt now?""Yes! Ow! Ooo! Yes!""All right, now come down off the mound... There... Has it stopped hurting?""Yes... Yes, I think it has!""There's your trouble... Five cents, please!”

“I have deep feelings of depression... What can I do about this?''Snap out of it! Five cents, please.”

“Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Is life a multiple choice test or is it a true or false test?" ...Then a voice comes to me out of the dark and says, "We hate to tell you this but life is a thousand word essay.”

“Life is like a game, Charlie Brown... Sometimes you win... Sometimes you lose.""I'll be happy if I just make the playoffs.”

“I want to know about life! I want some real answers...""Five.""Five?!""I thought that was a pretty good answer!”