“Today is my grandfather's birthday.""How old is he?""Sixty-three. It's hard to believe he was once a human being.”

“My grandfather has been very depressed lately. He just doesn't know what to do. He says it's late in the game, and he's afraid that life has him beaten.""Tell him to take out the goalie.”

“Once when Monty was in kindergarten, I had read to him and was trying to get him to go to sleep. He said he didn't want to close his eyes because "It's dark in there.”

“The crabby little girls of today are the crabby old women of tomorrow!”

“All his life he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed.For after all, he was only human. He wasn't a dog.”

“Hello? Oh, nothing... Just sort of hanging around... My brother? He's right here... He's reading... He's always reading... He has no life of his own, and he's a very boring person so he reads a lot... What's he reading? I don't know... She wants to know what you're reading...""How to survive living in the same family with an annoying sister.""Ivanhoe.”

“Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.”