“There's nothing worse than misplaced optimism.”

“A woman is who she is, not what she looks like.”

“There's nothing weak about beauty, child. The only weakness in it is if you think it means anything important.”

“The ugliest thing in the world is a beautiful woman without the brains or courage to know that [beauty] is nothing more than an accident.”

“There is no getting around the fact that the moment you are at your very best is the moment you begin to become worse and worse. Others will come along who can run faster, jump higher, hit harder, and you will be forgotten. Your winning moment is dated to die.”

“What is love anyway? From my new vantage point, I realize that love is nothing more than a messy conglomeration of need, desperation, fear of death and insecurity about penis size.”

“Standing in the corridor was a large plastic bin on wheels. He looked inside. Empty tins of dog food. That explained the spaghetti with meat sauce. Oh well, he'd eaten worse.”