“Charlie Kaufman: There was this time in high school. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh.Donald Kaufman: Oh, God. I was so in love with her.Charlie Kaufman: I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was being really sweet to you.Donald Kaufman: I remember that.Charlie Kaufman: Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. And it was like they were laughing at *me*. You didn't know at all. You seemed so happy.Donald Kaufman: I knew. I heard them.Charlie Kaufman: How come you looked so happy?Donald Kaufman: I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.Charlie Kaufman: But she thought you were pathetic.Donald Kaufman: That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.Donald Kaufman: What's up?Charlie Kaufman: Thank you.Donald Kaufman: For what? ”

“Baby, Andy once said that beauty is a sign of intelligence.'She turns slowly to look at me. 'Who, Victor? Who? Andy who?' She coughs, blowing her nose. 'Andy Kaufman? Andy Griffith? Who in the hell told you this? Andy Rooney?''Warhol,' I say softly, hurt. 'Baby...”

“Through real-life stories, Kristin Kaufman illustrates the core idea of being present in the moment and opening oneself up to new ideas in order to become an authentic leader in life.”

“Kaufman almost smiled at the perfection of its horror. He felt an offer of insanity tickling the base of his skull, tempting him into oblivion, promising a blank indifference to the world.”

“KAUFMAN Sir, what if a writer is attempting to create a story where nothing much happens, where people don't change, they don't have any epiphanies. They struggle and are frustrated and nothing is resolved. More a reflection of the real world —MCKEE The real world?KAUFMANYes, sir.MCKEEThe real fucking world? First of all, you write a screenplay without Conflict or Crisis, you'll bore your audience to tears. Secondly: nothing happens in the world? Are you out of your fucking mind? People are murdered every day! There's genocide, war, corruption! Every fucking day somewhere in the world somebody sacrifices his life to save someone else! Every fucking day someone somewhere makes a conscious decision to destroy someone else! People find love! People lose it! For Christ's sake! A child watches her mother beaten to death on the steps of a church! Someone goes hungry! Somebody else betrays his best friend for a woman! If you can't find that stuff in life, then you, my friend, don't know CRAP about life! And WHY THE FUCK are you wasting my two precious hours with your movie? I don't have any use for it! I don't have any bloody use for it!KAUFMAN Okay, thanks.”

“Wait", I say. "That's-you-what?""That's what I love about working with you, Valchek. Your eloquence.""But -but- but-""And your motorboat impressions.""Charlie, if you were there, why didn't you arrest him?”