“The best way to not get your heart broken, is pretending you don't have one.”

“It ain't a party til something gets broken.”

“I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

“You have the right to kill me, but you do not have the right to judge me. Boom. That’s the whole movie. That’s life.”

“I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t perfect and bitchin’ and just winning every second, I’m not perfect, and bitching and just delivering the goods at every fucking turn. Because look what I’m dealing with, man — I’m dealing with fools and trolls. I’m dealing with soft targets.”

“You can't beat me. I have the mind of a warlock with adonis DNA. Winning!”

“I have a disease? Bullshit. I cured it with my brain.”