“Now, I've another errand for you,' said my untiring master; "you must away to my room again. What a mercy you are shod with velvet, Jane!--a clod-hopping messenger would never do at this juncture. You must open the middle drawer of my toilet-table and take out a little phial and a little glass you will find there,--quick!"I flew thither and back, bringing the desired vessels."That's well! Now, doctor, I shall take the liberty of administering a dose myself, on my own responsibility. I got this cordial at Rome, of an Italian charlatan--a fellow you would have kicked, Carter. It is not a thing to be used indiscriminately, but it is good upon occasion: as now, for instance. Jane, a little water."He held out the tiny glass, and I half filled it from the water-bottle on the washstand."That will do;--now wet the lip of the phial."I did so; he measured twelve drops of a crimson liquid, and presented it to Mason."Drink, Richard: it will give you the heart you lack, for an hour or so.""But will it hurt me?--is it inflammatory?""Drink! drink! drink!"Mr. Mason obeyed, because it was evidently useless to resist. He was dressed now: he still looked pale, but he was no longer gory and sullied. Mr. Rochester let him sit three minutes after he had swallowed the liquid; he then took his arm--"Now I am sure you can get on your feet," he said--"try."The patient rose."Carter, take him under the other shoulder. Be of good cheer, Richard; step out--that's it!""I do feel better," remarked Mr. Mason."I am sure you do.”

“What have you been doing during my absence?''Nothing particular; teaching Adele as usual.''And getting a good deal paler than you were - as I saw at first sight. What is the matter?''Nothing at all, sir.''Did you take any cold that night you half drowned me?''Not the least.''Return to the drawing-room: you are deserting too early.''I am tired, sir.'He looked at me for a minute.'And a little depressed,' he said. 'What about? Tell me.''Nothing - nothing, sir. I am not depressed.''But I affirm that you are: so much depressed that a few more words would bring tears to your eyes - indeed, they are there now, shining and swimming; and a bead has slipped from the lash and fallen on the flag. If I had time, and was not in mortal dread of some prating prig of a servant passing, I would know what all this means. Well, to-night I excuse you; but understand that so long as my visitors stay, I expect you to appear in the drawing-room every evening; it is my wish; don't neglect it. Now go, and send Sophie for Adele. Good-night, my..' He stopped, bit his lip, and abruptly left me.(Jane and Mr Rochester)”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”That was a little too personal, wasn’t it?“I..” I was caught off guard.“Is that a yes, or a no?” He raised an eyebrow in curiosity as he stared deeply into my eyes.If I looked deep enough, I thought, maybe I could find what I was looking for.“No,” I whispered.He put a hand to his ear. “What was that? I didn’t quite hear you?” I had the feeling he had heard it loud and clear, but was messing with me.“No,” I said with one quick look at him and then I lowered my eyes toward the table.He smiled at my response. “Good,” he replied.Was I flirting? Was he?I looked back up to try to understand his answer. “And do you, Mr Kaden?”“Do I what?” He was definitely playing with me now. “Do I have a boyfriend? No. I don’t.”I laughed and couldn’t help but smile in the process.”

“And your will shall decide your destiny," he said: "I offer you my hand, my heart, and a share of all my possessions." You play a farce, which I merely laugh at." I ask you to pass through life at my side--to be my second self, and best earthly companion." For that fate you have already made your choice, and must abide by it." Jane, be still a few moments: you are over-excited: I will be still too." A waft of wind came sweeping down the laurel-walk, and trembled through the boughs of the chestnut: it wandered away--away--to an indefinite distance--it died. The nightingale's song was then the only voice of the hour: in listening to it, I again wept. Mr. Rochester sat quiet, looking at me gently and seriously. Some time passed before he spoke; he at last said - Come to my side, Jane, and let us explain and understand one another." I will never again come to your side: I am torn away now, and cannot return." But, Jane, I summon you as my wife: it is you only I intend to marry." I was silent: I thought he mocked me. Come, Jane--come hither." Your bride stands between us." He rose, and with a stride reached me. My bride is here," he said, again drawing me to him, "because my equal is here, and my likeness. Jane, will you marry me?”

“There it is! Done! And you didn't even have to fuck me.”He stared at me.“But you can still fuck me if you want to,” I offered.He kept staring at me.“Like now. Fucking me now would be good,” I prompted.He kept staring at me.“Hello?...Calling Kai Mason, girlfriend needs a good fucking, right...about...now.”That's when he spoke.And this is what he said.“God, I love you.”

“Why don’t you give up drinking?”“Because I don’t choose. It doesn’t matter what a man does if he’s ready to take the consequences. Well, I’m ready to take the consequences. You talk glibly of giving up drinking, but it’s the only thing I’ve got left now. What do you think life would be to me without it? Can you understand the happiness I get out of my absinthe? I yearn for it; and when I drink it I savour every drop, and afterwards I feel my soul swimming in ineffable happiness. It disgusts you. You are a puritan and in your heart you despise sensual pleasures. Sensual pleasures are the most violent and the most exquisite. I am a man blessed with vivid senses, and I have indulged them with all my soul. I have to pay the penalty now, and I am ready to pay.”