“In essence - we're all screwed”

“A little heads up would have been nice.Hey Heather, since we're history partners and all, I figured I should tell you I'm a murderer. But I'm hot so it's okay.From now on, Heather was going to do background checks on all her buddies.”

“So..." Heather nodded slowly. "We're still here.""Yep. I think your team of SWAT guys got lost. Probably looking for their shirts."She made a face at him. "You're effing hilarious.""I try.”

“For all the glamour of living forever … immortality is really just a long curse. Finite life is precious; it’s fleeting and significant. But immortality… immortality isn’t living at all. It’s a permanent existence void of meaning.”

“Scarlet was in pain all night because she wouldn’t let me sleep with her.”

“Why did you date all of those girls?” “Sometimes, you’re just looking for something that’s right.” Oh, it was a line. It was so a line. But it was a good line.”

“I am now scowling.""You are. And its adorable. But only in small doses.""Well, we cannot all be ridiculously jolly like you.""Ah, but we should.”