“Do you have a red velvet cake?" "Of course," the waiter said, as if this was a ridiculous question. How dare I assume that they didn't have red velvet cake. The nerve.”

“You're only human. You live once and life is wonderful so eat the damn red velvet cupcake!”

“What did I do?" he said. "Cake! It's cake! Delicious cake!”

“The problem isn't that I'm uncomfortable with it, the problem is that I want it!" I yelled. It was official; I'd lost it. Oh well, I wasn't known for having a long fuse. "Are you happy? Jesus. You say something like that and then expect me to just be whatever about it. That's like teasing someone with a giant red velvet cake and then putting it in one of those glass rotating desert thingies." I wasn't my most eloquent at the moment."Does this mean I'm the cake?""Shut up, it was a metaphor.""So you want me?"So much it hurt. "Yes," I whispered. "Right now?""Yes.""Oh." Now he was the one who sounded nervous. "It's just... a surprise.""I told you I would entertain the idea.""I know. I just didn't think you'd be so enthusiastic so soon.""Hunter, I'm a virgin. Not a nun."He didn't talk for a moment."That was the sexiest thing you've ever said. God, why do you do this to me?”

“I want a magical horse that fits in my pocket," Wil said. "And a ring of red amber that gives me power over demons. And an endless supply of cake.”

“I think of all the things I will miss. I think about coffee, red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, Little Women, and Channing Tatum. Oh, how I will miss Channing Tatum.”