“I've been kidnapped by a madman in tights and a cape.”

“Excuse me,” she said, her voice tight. “But if I’d known there was going to be a firearms examination at the end of the kidnapping, by God, I would have studied for it!”

“You know, I've been almost kidnapped and killed more times in the last thirty-six hours than anyone in history, and yet here I am trying to help you work through your personal issues and that Claire...that is why I always get the last cookie,”

“I almost cried. But I didn't, because if you're in seventh grade and you cry while wearing a blue floral cape and yellow tights with white feathers on the butt, you just have to curl up and die somewhere in a dark alley.”

“Inside every sane person there's a madman struggling to get out," said the shopkeeper. "That's what I've always thought. No one goes mad quicker than a totally sane person.”

“Apparently, Brooke's Dad-my dad?- was not the sort of father that allowed a day for mental recuperation after a person has been kidnapped.”