“Any ham-handed idiot can make a woman scream. I prefer to assess…responsiveness.”

“Explain! Tell a man to explain how he dropped into hell! Explain my preference! I never had a preference for her, any more than I have a preference for breathing. No other woman exists by the side of her. I would rather touch her hand if it were dead, than I would touch any other woman's living.”

“Children can only learn to take responsibility when given a chance to assess and mitigate risk for themselves.”

“Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error”

“My two favorited pasttimes are sex and golf, in that order, although, as I grow older I find myself assessing their order of preference.”

“My brother threw up his hands. "What does a woman need to do, Harry? Rip her clothes off, throw herself on top of you, and shimmy while screaming, 'Do me, baby!'?" he shook his head. "Sometimes you're a frigging idiot.”