“You dickweed! Are you always stupid, or is today a special occasion?”

“You know how really big guys are always nicknamed Tiny?" She didn’t wait for any response, afraid she’d chicken out. "Guess that would make you Master Munchkin, huh?”

“People—especially men—don't always know what they want. You try, and if it doesn't work, then you may quit.” With a broken heart. As if she'd read her mind, Abuelita frowned and scolded, “Hearts mend, but lost chances are gone forever.”

“She could just imagine, all her friends and family mourning around her grave. The tombstone would read Kari Wagner, Died of Sheer Stupidity. It would be almost as bad to have her grave marker read Died of Terminal Bedroom Boredom.”

“I’m sorry to tell you this, sprite, but you are definitely little.”

“what you need and what you want aren't the same things,”

“Have you gone crazy?""Have you gone crazy, Master.”