“Your life is your own. I just get to rule it now and then.”

“I have two rules in life - to hell with it, whatever it is, and get your work done.”

“You are in charge of your own karma, your own life, your own spiritual path, and your own liberation, just as I am in charge of mine.”

“Don't you just hate it when real life gets in the way of your own reality.”

“There's a rule, I think. You get what you want in life, but not your second choice too.”

“When you grow up the way I do, and the biggest thing in your life so far has been getting dunked in a glass tank by a man who acts like he’s mugging you but says instead he’s saving your soul, then celebrating your soul mugging at Sizzler with your parents (get the buffet by itself, not added on to a steak dinner, because the buffet already has sirloin tips), you need rules. And not their rules, not God’s rules, but mine. My own. Here’s on of Eliot’s Rules for Dating: When you first meet a girl, make sure you are accidentally conducting a chemistry experiment on your lips.OK. I didn’t say they were all good rules.”