“And the fuck is yours too, WTF. That question does not apply 'to everything every day.' If it does, you’re wasting your life. If it does, you’re a lazy coward and you are not a lazy coward.Ask better questions, sweet pea. The fuck is your life. Answer it.”

“The fuck is your life. Answer it.”

“There are so many things to be tortured about, sweet pea. So many torturous things in this life. Don't let the man who doesn't love you be one of them.”

“Be about ten times more magnanimous than you believe yourself capable of. Your life will be a hundred times better for it.”

“Don’t listen to those people who suggest you should be “over” your daughter’s death by now. The people who squawk the loudest about suchthings have almost never had to get over anything. Or at least not anything that was genuinely, mind-fuckingly, soul-crushingly life altering. Some ofthose people believe they’re being helpful by minimizing your pain. Others are scared of the intensity of your loss and so they use their words topush your grief away. Many of those people love you and are worthy of your love, but they are not the people who will be helpful to you when itcomes to healing the pain of your daughter’s death.They live on Planet Earth. You live on Planet My Baby Died.”

“I can’t tell you what to do. No one can. But as the mother of two children, I can tell you what most moms will: that mothering is absurdly hard and profoundly sweet. Like the best thing you ever did. Like if you think you want to have a baby, you probably should.I say this in spite of the fact that children are giant endless suck machines. They don’t give a whit if you need to sleep or eat or pee or get your work done or go out to a party naked and oiled up in a homemade Alice B. Toklas mask. They take everything. They will bring you the furthest edge of your personality and abso-fucking-lutely to your knees.They will also give you everything back. Not just all they take, but many of the things you lost before they came along as well.”

“I receive a lot of letters like yours. Most go on in length, describing all sorts of maddening situations and communications in bewildered detail, but in each there is the same question at its core: Can I convince the person about whom I am crazy to be crazy about me? The short answer is no. The long answer is no.”