“I slid Mallory a glance. “He’s (Jeff) your test? He thinks anything with breasts looks good.” "Since you don’t qualify, that’s why I asked him over.”

“That’s Edward. He’s gorgeous, of course, but don’t waste your time. He doesn’t date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him.”

“It’s my husband. I think— I think he’s a zombie.” I smiled. “Believe it or not, I get this one a lot. Can you describe his behavior? Why do you think he’s a zombie?” She huffed. “He doesn’t do anything! He sits on the sofa all day watching TV and that’s it.”

“Otter says nothing and as I turn to look at him, he’s watching me, that gold-green shining with that regard that always leaves me breathless. I don’t know what he’s thinking right now. I don’t think I want to know. Are you sure? the voice in my head asks. Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to know?]”

“Have you met my boyfriend? He thinks running around in the middle of the night pretending he’s an elf is a good time. If that’s not fucked up, I don’t know what is.”

“That's wonderful. I do like a man that tells you right out he’s looking out for himself. Don’t we all? I don’t trust a man that says he’s not. And the man that’s telling the truth when he says he’s not I distrust most of all, because he’s and ass and an ass that’s going contrary to the laws of nature.”