“I'm taking fifteen, and we're moving this discussion upstairs.""You can have here! I will not listen.""You will listen," Mallory said, "and you'll tell your book club exactly what you heard.""But is like Twilight in real life!" Berna protested. "Sparkles!”

“You do that Helen", Mallory dared. "And tell him we said to f*ck off while youre at it".”

“Mallory!" Catcher's voice boomed down the stairs.Mallory fixed her mouth into a tight line and walked me into the kitchen. "Ignore it," she advised. "Much like the bubonic plague, it'll go away if you give it enough time.""Mallory! You weren't finished! Get back in here!"I glanced up the stairway. "You didn't leave him handcuffed to the bed or something, did you?""Jesus, no." I incrementally relaxed, until she continued. "My headboard's a single piece of wood. There's nothing to handcuff him to.”

“I'm just warning you, I'm probably going to be a total hard-ass vamp."Mallory snorted and walked out of the kitchen, calling out, "Yeah, well, you've got a purple marshmallow on your chin, hard-ass vamp.”

“Seriously, I’m totally weirded out by the girly nature of this conversation. And yet, it’s kinda like you’re growing up. Do you think Judy Blume made a book about adolescent vampires? Are You There God, It’s Me, Merit?” Mallory snorted, obviously pleased with herself.”

“Do you need to reschedule? There are some other things I could take care of while I’m in town.”Mallory waved him off. “No, today’s fine. It’s going to be on the exam, so I might as well do it.”“Oh, my God, you are Harry Potter,” I said, pointing a finger at her. “I knew it!”She rolled her eyes, then looked at Catcher.”

“I slid Mallory a glance. “He’s (Jeff) your test? He thinks anything with breasts looks good.” "Since you don’t qualify, that’s why I asked him over.”