“I almost shat my pants. Literally, the floor was almost covered in my shat.”

“But one of the big lessons I have learned from my journey is you can’t please everyone, so don’t try.”

“I wish I could walk into a room and feel superior and have my nose up at everybody, but I can't, because I know I'm just a huge nerd, and that wouldn't work for me.”

“When one thing takes another away, what do we call that?” she asked my class. “Homicide!” I called out”

“A few of the girls and I jumped into my jetta and took off. "Lets go stand outside someone from Glee's house now," one of them said”

“To Grandma,for being my first editor and giving me the best writing advice I’ve ever received: “Christopher, I think you should wait until you’re done with elementary school before worrying about being a failed writer.”

“My grandpa had a saying before he died: You can hope in one hand, shit in the other, and see which is filled first.”