“Dude, you didn't fugue, you were just berserk. That's like comparing a lunatic to a pissed guy with goals.”

“College is just a place where they let you pay them to tell you things you should be getting paid to learn on the job. TRUE.Don't take that teat, baby. That is a raw tittie. College is a red raw areola, and instead of milk it releases highly acidic French dressing. --"Ray's Place" 1/6/04”

“It's kind of like... It's kind of like playin' a basketball game. I am there and the other player is there, and it's just the two of us and I put the other player's body in my van. And I am the winner.”

“YOU GONNA STAND THERE WITH YOUR BUTT ON THE BACK OF YOUR BODY OR ARE YOU GONNA GET IN ON THIS, BEEF?”

“If you think about it even medium-hard, launching a scared little dog into space with no intention of getting it back is a seriously fucked thing to do.”

“The saddest thing is when the toilet from an abandoned space station falls back to earth, lands upside-down on a child who was playing alone in the backyard, and smooshes them into the shape of half a hard-boiled egg. ...And when they lift the toilet off of the child, two lips at the top of the bloody mound say, on their dying breath, "I love you, mommy.”

“I wish in the past I had tried more things 'cause now I know that being in trouble is a fake idea.”