“Welcome to the only game in town.”

“It's kind of like... It's kind of like playin' a basketball game. I am there and the other player is there, and it's just the two of us and I put the other player's body in my van. And I am the winner.”

“College is just a place where they let you pay them to tell you things you should be getting paid to learn on the job. TRUE.Don't take that teat, baby. That is a raw tittie. College is a red raw areola, and instead of milk it releases highly acidic French dressing. --"Ray's Place" 1/6/04”

“If you think about it even medium-hard, launching a scared little dog into space with no intention of getting it back is a seriously fucked thing to do.”

“I wish in the past I had tried more things 'cause now I know that being in trouble is a fake idea.”

“The saddest thing is a retarded man who is crying and promising a broken egg that it will still be a chicken some day.And that they'll play together in a field when it gets better.”

“The saddest thing is when the toilet from an abandoned space station falls back to earth, lands upside-down on a child who was playing alone in the backyard, and smooshes them into the shape of half a hard-boiled egg. ...And when they lift the toilet off of the child, two lips at the top of the bloody mound say, on their dying breath, "I love you, mommy.”