“Miles looked at me guiltily, and nodded, “But if it’s any consola-tion, it wasn’t hard. You really wanted to come and well…I really needed to see you again,” he confessed. I gave him a stern look that softened into a smile. “I’m glad you did it.” “Of course you are. I knew you would be,” he said confident-ly. “But don’t do it anymore. No means no, okay?” He took my hand and kissed it sweetly, “I have a better idea. Just stop telling me no.”

“I hated the idea of such a glorious creature beating itself to death in pursuit of something it could never have. It was, after all, just a light. The moth had no idea why it wanted it, only that it did.I paused at the window. “You’re just like them you know. You want the light so bad because you think it’s wonderful, and power-ful, and the answer to all of your little moth dreams, but in reality it is just a deadly desire. No matter what you do, no matter how bad you want it, you can never have it. Don’t you see? The light will bring you nothing but death.”Slowly, I opened my hand again. “Now, go, live your life. Find another moth and make little moth babies, and stop chasing light fixtures,” I instructed, raising my hand toward the stars. Once again, the moth watched me, then fluttered its wings and took off. This time, it flew away, disappearing into the dark. I leaned my head against the window frame, watching, think-ing, wondering if the little critter would ever find happiness. It didn’t take long to get an answer. There, on the other side of the parking lot, was the moth, buzzing wildly against a street light. I began to cry. “I know how you feel, little one,” I sobbed. “No matter what happens, no matter how wrong it is, my heart wants what it wants. I’m just like you, and they are my light.”

“He was still holding his jacket around me and standing extremely close. The heat from his body called to me, summoning desire I’d only ever read about. As I gazed up into his sweet face, I couldn’t deny that I longed for his kiss. I tried to fight it down, to convince myself I couldn’t let this progress any further. It had already gone too far. However, something inside conveyed an unspoken request and, as if to answer me, he slowly leaned down. I closed my eyes, feeling the sweetness of his breath graze my mouth, shivering, awaiting the tender passion of his kiss. And when his mouth finally pressed against mine, all time stopped. Soft and passionate, the heat of his lips warmed the cold of mine. The world around us faded. No sound. No movement. No time.”

“I quickly pulled away and walked to the edge of the water. Staring up at the darkened sky through tear filled eyes, I awaited the inevitable storm. With a heavy heart, I took in a long, sad breath. The time had come for me to end this. No delaying any longer, no excuses—it was now or never.A searing pain tore through my chest. Though my heart had already made its choice long ago, the inevitable pain of having to let him go was something I had avoided until now. But I could no longer afford to be selfish and keep them both. It wasn't fair to either of them and I loved them far too much to continue putting my own wants and desires first.”

“Like a moth to the flame, I am drawn to writing, I do not question it, for no answer would diminish my urge, even though I know the fire may some day consume me.”

“All I'm saying is I think you deserve better,” Case said. “From my point of view, anyway. You deserve better.”I threw my head back on the sofa and laughed. It was a harsh laugh with no mirth. “Most of the time, I don't think I deserve better.”“Everyone deserves better.”“Not me.” I didn't look at him. “No one else would want me. I've royally fucked up. Everything. There isn't anything better out there. Anything or anyone.”“Yeah, there is.” “Oh, really?” I brought my eyes back to him. “And where exactly would I find better?” It was quiet for a moment. Then he said,“Well, you might start with me.”

“How about a rain check?' She smiles, but I know it's not real because it doesn't crinkle her eyes. 'Sure. Some other time.'I nod and grab my car keys. Before I flip the light on in the grage, she's behind me, tugging on my backpack.'You want to go to school? Fine. But you're not driving. Give me the key.''I'm okay, Mom, really. I'll see you tonight.' I plant a quick kiss on her cheek and turn to the door again. 'That's nice. Give it to me.' She holds out her hand.I clench the key in my fist. 'You practically shoved that car down my throat Monday, and now youre taking the key. What did I do?''What did you do? Well, for starters, you used your face to stop a cafeteria door from swinging open.”