“For some reason, the two of us arguing was like some sick form of foreplay.”

“For some sick reason, fighting with this woman always ended with her panties in my pocket.”

“You sure you don't want me to bring you back something?" Her eyes moved in the direction of his office. "A hit man? Some holy water?”

“I knew everything happened for a reason. I just wished the reason would hurry up and make itself known.”

“If only he would keep his mouth shut, he'd be perfect. A piece of duct tape would do the trick. I had some in my desk that I'd occasionally pull out and fondle, hoping someday I could put it to good use.”

“So here were the facts: I felt possessive of her. Not in a romantic sort of way, but in a "hit her over the head, drag her off by the hair, and fuck her" way. Like she was my toy and I was keeping the other boys in the sandbox from playing with her. How sick was that? If she ever heard me admit to that, she would cut off my balls and feed them to me.”

“I'm two seconds away from castrating you with my heel.”