“For some sick reason, fighting with this woman always ended with her panties in my pocket.”

“For some reason, the two of us arguing was like some sick form of foreplay.”

“But I'd be a silent panty ripper, which I think is a lot creepier than the angry-boss panty ripper.”

“So here were the facts: I felt possessive of her. Not in a romantic sort of way, but in a "hit her over the head, drag her off by the hair, and fuck her" way. Like she was my toy and I was keeping the other boys in the sandbox from playing with her. How sick was that? If she ever heard me admit to that, she would cut off my balls and feed them to me.”

“You have very Grace Kelly-like tendencies about you. I hear Grace Kelly had a filthy mouth too," he added. "You love my filthy mouth.""True. But I like it better when its full," he said, meaningful smirk in place. "You know, if you would shut up once in a while you'd be damn near perfect.""But I'd be a silent panty ripper, which I think is a lot creepier than the angry-boss panty ripper.”

“If a woman wanted a man to think of her constantly, she should tell him he could only have her once a wee and bam - concentration blown.”

“I mean, I wanted to shove a pocket knife into each of his tires within the first fifteen minutes of meeting him.”