“I’m sorry, what did you say? I’m not fluent in stupid drunk slut”

“You want to be my first, Shane?”“No baby, I’m going to be your last”

“Yeah, listen you should really stop now, because I’m betting on the smartest thing that ever could come out of your mouth is a penis.”

“Please don't be sorry, Grace. I am your friend and I'm here if you need to talk about anything or need a shoulder to cry on.""Thanks.""Especially if that's the only way I'll ever get to hold you.”

“Were you dropped on your head as a baby or did your mother just throw you against a wall ?”

“Thank God, I was with Ethan. Imagine if I had drunk with Tucker. He would have slept with me, married me and forced me to eat sushi all in one night without me even knowing it.”

“I wanted to wrap that moment up in tissue paper and save it forever someplace near my heart, just so I could take it out and look at it when the world was too harsh. The beautiful drunk boy in the pillow fort in my living room telling me I was exquisite.”