“Well, don’t let your thighs rub too close together, because you look like you’re about to have a walking orgasm”

“Masturbation is when you rub your genitals until you have an orgasm. Wow!”

“Whatever game you’re playing, you’re going to lose,” he whispers. “And I’ll be right there to rub your nose in it when it happens.”“Great. Well, at least I have something to look forward to.” I cross my arms. “Now why don’t you go parade your lack of dignity somewhere else?”

“… saying that you don’t have time to improve your thoughts and your life is like saying you don’t have time to stop for gas because you’re too busy driving. Eventually it will catch up with you.” - The Monk who sold his Ferrari”

“I like everything about you, Larry. I like the way you look and how you’re so clever, and I like it when we laugh together and watch TV together. I like going to art galleries with you and hearing you get all bitchy about some of the artists. I like watching you when you’re doing marking, ’cause you get these funny looks on your face. I like watching you sleep and hearing that snuffly noise you make. I like waking up with you at weekends and spending the day together, just doing stuff like walking round town and shopping and cooking and stuff.” I kind of ran out of breath after that.For a moment, I thought he was going to cry.“Is there anything you don’t like about me?”

“Don’t stand behind a strange horse, don’t look a strange dog in the eyes, don’t rub a strange cat’s belly, and for God’s sake, don’t let strange men handcuff you to your bed.”