“Chapter 8, Dinner With the Vampire:Is there something wrong with your food?"No, I'm just not very hungry."You're going to break my heart, aren't you?”

“You're going to break my heart, aren't you?”

“Normally if I met a guy who was unemployed and illiterate who hadn't bathed in a couple of weeks, I'd be standing in a puddle with excitement, but I'm sort of in a bad mood tonight, so take this bag and give me the fu**ing paper before I pop your head like a zit.He said, you're a lesbian, aren't you?”

“Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)" I thinks she's going to break my heart" On arrival of the girl" The flannel is fine honey,but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!”

“. . . You seem upset, Charlie. Is something wrong?Charlie: No, no, I’m okay, I just had to take directions from a mute beaver in a fez to get here, it’s unsettling.”

“So hey, once Joshua heals your brother, you want to go do something, get some pomegranate juice, a falafel,or get married or something?”

“That's it, said Cavuto. You're too much of a nerd to be gay. I'm contacting the committee. They'll revoke your rainbow flag and you will not be permitted anywhere near the parade.”