“He has the attention span of a hummingbird.”

“Jody noticed that the kid was focused on the breasts, which were defying gravity, and apparently death itself, by standing there at complete attention”

“The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.”

“It’s like he has this power over me—like I have an eating disorder and he’s a package of Oreo Double Stuff cookies.”

“Don't drive drunk. Ever. Don't shag anyone you don't like, or who doesn't like you. Get a look at how people live in a place where you don't. Suffering is over-rated, don't pursue it. Ask for help when you need it, don't when you don't, and learn to recognize the difference. Don't confuse movement and progress. Be kind. Be forgiving. Pay attention.”

“Like looking down on a lubricious chess set, isn't it? The king moves in tiny steps, with no direction, like a drunkard trying to avoid the archer's bolt. The others work their strategies and wait for the old man to fall. He has no power, yet all power moves in his orbit and to his mad whim. Do you know there's no fool piece on the chessboard, Kent?" "Methinks the fool is the player, the mind above the moves.”

“I'll bet he was myrrh. Bastard, he brings the cheapest gift and now he wants to sodomize me.”