“I can be most colorful and inventive when I am angry.”

“He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.”

“It's very difficult to stay angry when a room full of bald guys in orange robes start giggling. Buddhism.”

“This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I'm asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men?”

“I love you, Lucien, but I am a muse, you are an artist, I am not here to make you comfortable.”

“I am not inclined to use hip-hop vernacular often, but there are times when, like French, it just better expresses the sentiment of the moment”

“My children are monsters, Kiro thought. And I am responsible. Perhaps if I had read them the haikus of Basho when they were little instead of that American manifesto of high-pressure sales, Green Eggs and Ham...”