“I fink I gots deaf on me willie.”

“Where's my daddy?Is that my daddy?It goes, "I fink, derefore I am. I fink." It is Sergeant Detritus the troll!That's not my daddy!”

“Minds me of a story they tell about Willy Feeley when he was a young fella. Willy was bashful, awful bashful. Well, one day he takes a heifer over to Graves' bull. Ever'body was out but Elsie Graves, and Elsie wasn't bashful at all. Willy, he stood there turnin' red an' he couldn't even talk. Elsie says, 'I know what you come for; the bull's out in back a the barn.' Well, they took the heifer out there an' Willy an' Elsie sat on the fence to watch. Purty soon Willy got feelin' purty fly. Elsie looks over an' says, like she don't know, 'What's a matter, Willy?' Willy's so randy, he can't hardly set still. 'By God,' he says, 'by God, I wisht I was a-doin' that!' Elsie says, 'Why not, WIlly? It's your heifer.”

“But I was not in the band, because I suffer from the kind of tone deafness that is generally associated with actual deafness”

“I get the willies when I see closed doors.”

“Willy Loman: I don't want change, I want Swiss cheese!”