“Privacy is a wonderful thing. Like love, privacy is most manifest in its absence.”

“Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.”

“I love you above all things, even pie.”

“Like most Beta Males, he didn't realize that being a good guy was not necessarily an attraction to women.”

“Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.”

“It's like time travel only, you know, slower...”

“So, like, the master needed a hand, if you know what I mean, so I was like, "Oh chill, it's a stress thing, everyone does it. I'm flicking the bean under the table right now just to dial the tension back a little. Yes. Yes. Yes! Oh-zombie-jeebus-fuck-me-Simba-lion-king-hakuna-matata! Yes!"--The Chronicles of Abby Normal”