“Sorry. Accident. Couldn't be helped.”

“Charlie Asher: I accidently shagged a monk last night.Minty Fresh: Sometimes, in times of crisis, that shit cannot be avoided.”

“Life is messy. Would that every puzzle piece fell into place, every word was kind, every accident happy, but such is not the case. Life is messy”

“Just because he was pretty didn't mean he couldn't be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest hickory”

“Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going to happen again.”

“Abby Von Normal - And I'm like, "Don't change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you're ready to spend some up-close and personal time with ninety pounds of barbarian woman-flesh! Sorry, I don't know how much that is in kilos.”

“This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I'm asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men?”