“The gourney, the big file drawers of the dead, the instruments of dissection - this sure looked like the morgues in the movies. Something had gone seriously wrong while she slept.”

“Inspector, there's no smoking allowed in here," said a uniformed officer who had been called to the scene.Cavuto waved to the drawers [at the morgue]. "Do you think they mind?"The officer shook his head. "No, sir."Cavuto blew a stream of smoke at Gilbert [a dead guy]. "And him, do you think he minds?"No, sir."And you, Patrolman Jeeter, you don't mind, do you?"Jeeter cleared his throat. "Uh...no, sir."Well, good," Cavuto said. "Look, on the side of the car, Jeeter. It says 'Protect and Serve' not 'Piss and Moan.'"Yes, sir.”

“The Colorman slid off the morgue slab to the cold floor. Bullets pooped from his wounds and plopped on the stone as he limped naked around the room looking for something to wear. All the dead were either naked, too ripe, or too tall for him to use their clothes, so he settled on a white mortician's coat that trailed out behind him as he went. The morgue attendant pretended not to see him as he passed, figuring that a spontaneous reanimation would require paperwork that he did not wish to fill out.”

“How would I feel if I woke up and she told me that we had done it while I slept? I’d be fine with it. A little sad that I missed things, but I wouldn’t be mad. I’d just ask her if I had a good time. Women are different, though.”

“Charlie had Sophie strapped to his chest like a terrorist baby bomb when he came down the back steps. She had just gotten to the point where she could hold up her head, so he had strapped her in face-out so she could look around. The way her arms and legs waved around as Charlie walked, she looked as if she was skydiving and using a skinny nerd as a parachute.”

“Of course they won't bloody remember, they'll be dead.' Then she called him a name in a dead language that translated, roughly, to 'poop on a stick,' but sounded more succinct, like this: 'Of course they won't bloody remember, they'll be dead, Poopstick.”

“. . . You seem upset, Charlie. Is something wrong?Charlie: No, no, I’m okay, I just had to take directions from a mute beaver in a fez to get here, it’s unsettling.”