“You are my desire.Eating your luscious love thoughtsMy Junk Just Dropped Off”

“I know that even now, having watched enough television, you probably won't even refer to them as lepers so as to spare their feelings. You probably call them 'parts-dropping-off challenged' or something.”

“Chapter 8, Dinner With the Vampire:Is there something wrong with your food?"No, I'm just not very hungry."You're going to break my heart, aren't you?”

“Lonliness evaporated off of them like the steam off dry ice, and by morning it was just a cloud on the ceiling of the room, then gone with the light. ”

“Sarcasm will make your tits fall off.”

“You put your dick in my lunch?”

“Stop," I said. "Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is most fly, and you have just saved me with your mad ninja driving skills, so do not sully your heroic hottie image in my mind by further reciting your nerdy scholastic agenda. Don't tell me what you're studying, Steve, tell me what's in your soul. What haunts you?"And he was like, "Dude, you need to cut back on the caffeine.”