“Ambition is a funny thing. It’s like being a Trekkie in that if you admit to it, those around you are mock supportive of your confidence but are quick to call you a loser behind your back.Or maybe that’s the opposite of being a Trekkie.”

“The wider you spread your fingers apart while clapping is equal to the amount of retarded you look while clapping.”

“Do you ever feel like we are the universe’s date to a pig party? Love, The Human Race”

“I've purged myself of worldly goods; half my stuff is either being sold or going to charity. I need to go shopping.”

“I’m a super hero and I’m in a phone booth but those things have nothing in common with each other; I just come here to cry.”

“I’m going to punch words in your ear holes.”

“You keep the title of 'president' even if you served only one term. The same goes for rapists.”