“Memoirs are noting more than literary masterbation.”

“A novel is no different than graffiti in a bathroom stall, it's just more pretentious.”

“Even Azathoth is bored of this tune.”

“I’ve noticed that you are retarded, Dr. Phil.”

“Ambition is a funny thing. It’s like being a Trekkie in that if you admit to it, those around you are mock supportive of your confidence but are quick to call you a loser behind your back.Or maybe that’s the opposite of being a Trekkie.”

“My author role model is Kurata Misako. I want to be rich enough to drive from room to room in my home but also down to earth enough to let squirrels live in my hair.”

“You keep the title of 'president' even if you served only one term. The same goes for rapists.”