“If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus.”

“I know a cute thing to say to a kid when they ask why it's raining. I say to them it's raining because god is crying. And if they ask why god is crying, a cute thing to say is, god is crying probably because of something you did.”

“Thank God, I was with Ethan. Imagine if I had drunk with Tucker. He would have slept with me, married me and forced me to eat sushi all in one night without me even knowing it.”

“There ain't no devil there's just god when he's drunk”

“...because really, sometimes the irony gods just get drunk.”

“The Council agrees," Zeus said. "Percy Jackson, you will have one gift from the gods."I hesitated. "Any gift?"Zeus nodded grimly. "I know what you will ask. The greatest gift of all. Yes, if you want it, it shall be yours. The gods have not bestowed this gift on a mortal hero in many centuries, but, Perseus Jackson-if you wish it-you shall be made a god. Immortal. Undying. You shall serve as your father's lieutenant for all time."I stared at him, stunned. "Um...a god?"Zeus rolled his eyes. "A dimwitted god, apparently. But yes. With the consensus of the entire Council, I can make you immortal. Then I will have to put up with you forever.""Hmm," Ares mused. "That means I can smash him to a pulp as often as I want, and he'll just keep coming back for more. I like this idea.”