“By that she means fully erect. Condom-ready.”

“Condoms ribbed for extrasensitivity. The last thing I need is extrasensitivity. Here are condoms lined with a topical anesthetic for prolonged action. What a paradox. You don't feel a thing, but you can fuck for hours. This seems to really miss the point. I want my whole life lined with a topical anesthetic.”

“Here are condoms lined with a topical anesthetic for prolonged action. What a paradox. You don't feel a thing, but you can fuck for hours.”

“You know, the condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip it on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night, then you throw it away.”

“Katherine Kenton remains among the generation of women who feel that the most sincere form of flattery is the male erection.”

“Fertility says, "Can you relax and just let things happen?"I ask, does she mean, like disasters, like pain, like misery? Can I just let all that happen?"And Joy," she says, "and Serenity, and Happiness, and Contentment." She says all the wings of the Columbia Memorial Mausoleum. "You don't have to control everything," she says. "You can't control everything."But you can be ready for disaster.A sign goes by saying, Buckle Up."If you worry about disaster all of the time, that's what you are going to get," Fertility says.”

“Next, I'm holding a bag of clothes, being herded toward an open door filled with sunlight. My briefs are still looped around my ankles, so I'm waddling, my erection swinging in front of me like a blind man's cane, and the talent wrangler has the nerve to say, 'Thank you for coming...”