“I fainted....and you ate my ass?You fed me my own ass?”

“Reread that Bronte book all you want, but Jane Eyre's never going to get gender-reassignment surgery or train to become a kick-ass ninja assassin.”

“We are all connected on the inside. Your ass is just the far end of your mouth.”

“You love me. You ignore me. You save my life, then you cook my mother into soap.”

“You’ve thrown down the gauntlet. You’ve brought my wrath down upon your house. Now, to prove that I exist I must kill you. As the child outlives the father, so must the character bury the author. If you are, in fact, my continuing author, then killing you will end my existence as well. Small loss. Such a life, as your puppet, is not worth living.But… If I destroy you and your dreck script, and I still exist… then my existence will be glorious, for I will become my own master.”

“Burn the Louvre, and wipe your ass with the Mona Lisa. This way at least, God would know our names.”

“I am my own rakish seducer. I do serve as my own surly, brutish bounder.”