“I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a hot-gushing, butt-cramping, gut hosing orgasm.”

“It's not love or anything, but I think I like you, too.”

“I'm giving you my life to prove to myself I can, I really can love somebody. Even when I'm not getting paid, I can give love and happiness and charm. You see, I can handle the baby food and the not talking and being homeless and invisible, but I have to know that I can love somebody. Completely and totally, permanently and without hope of reward, just as an act of will, I will love somebody.”

“Why should I believe any of this?' It happens that fast. I say, because I think I like you. Marla says, 'Not love?'This is a cheesy enough moment, I say. Don't push it.”

“As the French say, who doesn't like getting their butt sucked?”

“You know how both life and porno movies end. The only difference is life starts with the orgasm.”

“Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken!”