“If it is the case that love does survive death, then you may consider this to be a happy ending. Boy meets girl. Boy gets girl. Happily ever after or not.”

“The girls you meet are never very far from their worst-case scenario.”

“The reason boys desire so desperately to kiss girls is because, with each kiss, the activity makes the boy’s wanger grow larger. The more girls a boy can kiss, the larger a wanger he’ll eventually possess, and the boys boasting the largest are awarded the best-paying, highest-status jobs. Really, it’s all very simple.”

“He was the kind of boy any young girl should date while she's still able to recover.”

“The same as real life, there is no happily ever after.”

“You had to risk your life to get love. You had to get right to the edge of death to ever be saved.”

“The girl who lives in 8G used to be a lovely charming girl, but the girl is a monster bitch monster. The girl is infectious human waste, and she's confused and afraid to commit to the wrong thing so she won't commit to anything. ”