“Never, ever say the dildo accidentally turned itself on.”

“Me, while I'm heading west, asleep at Mach 0.83, or 455 miles an hour, or true airspeed, the FBI is bomb-squading my suitcase on a vacated runway back in Dulles. Nine out of ten times, the security task force guy says, the vibration is an electric razor. The other time, it's a vibrating dildo.Imagine, the task force guy says, telling a passenger on arrival that a dildo kept her baggage on the East Coast. Sometimes it's even a man. It's airline policy not to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. Use the indefinite article.A dildo.Never your dildo.Never say the dildo accidentally turned itself on.A dildo activated itself and created an emergency situation that required the evacuating of your baggage.”

“But Love is a durable firein the mind ever burningNever sick, never old, never deadFrom itself, never turning.”

“Love never claims, it ever gives. Love ever suffers, never resents never revenges itself.”

“(...) he walked away understanding, (...) how easily life can be one thing rather than another and how accidentally a destiny is made... on the other hand, how accidental fate may seem when things can never turn out other than they do.”

“This signior is sound, safe, ready, and dumbAs ever was candle, carrot, or thumb;Then away with these nasty devices, and showHow you rate the just merits of Signior Dildo.”