“Parents, they'll screw you up every time.”

“One reason for pausing is that young babies make a lot of movement and noise while they're sleeping. This is normal and fine. If parents rush in and pick the baby up every time he makes a peep, they'll sometimes wake him up.”

“We're [parents]) always bluffing, pretending we know best, when most of the time we're just praying we won't screw up too badly.”

“If you read to your kids, you'll make readers out of them, partly because they'll associate reading with good parent-time.”

“all my parents do is drink. They hate me. Do you know what it's like waking up every morning knowing you're not good enough? there are only two things wrong with me-everything I do and everything I say. They'll never be happy until I'm dead”

“And then I screwed up and the Colonel screwed up and Takumi screwed up and she slipped through our fingers.”